Honey, there's a point in every father's life when he blows up his daughter's room.
-With my diet, you can eat anything you want anytime you want.
-And you can loose weight?
-Sure, I guess. It's a free country.
Maya Angelou is black?
-Saddam Huesein? They should call him 'So damn insane'!
-Hey you're just flaming the fans of hatred
-And you thought the desert couldn't get any hotter--here's the Cincanati Bengals cheerleaders!
-Hey, I can't look at this, I got a girlfriend back home.
-This is an insult to our Muslim hosts.
I'm not father material: I curse, I gamble, I pick fights with homeless people.
I'm not going to lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy--like motherhood.
I think I'll go somewhere friendlier--like downtown Grozny!
-Hey. I heard there's a lunar eclipse tonight. Maybe we should look up.
-Nah. For me, it's solar or nothing.
-That's him! [shooting] Homer Simpson! [shooting]
-I said I was sorry!
-Oh, OK. Class act.
-Sorry you're such jerks! [shooting] Ahh! [more shooting] Owww. That bullet went in!