Milhouse: Oh, I can't wait 'til we're teenagers; then we'll be happy.
Lisa: Well, we could play Clam Traffic Jam or The Game of County Seats. Aw, the zoning disk is warped!
Bart: Alright! Silly String! Look, you're Milhouse!
Milhouse: Who wets their bed now, Milhouse?
Homer: What's going on?! And I want a non-gay explanation!
Milhouse: Uh ... we're drunk. Really drunk.
Homer: Oh, thank God.
Hibbert: Now, son, this is a teaching hospital, which is why I equipped the seat of your cast with a viewing window.
Lisa: Principal Skinner, I thought public schools were required to have access ramps for the disabled.
Skinner: Technically, yes, but the building costs would be astronomical.
Fat Tony: Did I hear the word "astronomical"? If so, my construction outfit "Valdezzo Brothers Olive Oil" is poised to help.
Skinner: No, no, no, no. We're not building anything.
Fat Tony: How can you say that when construction has already begun?
Skinner: How did those trucks get here so fast?!
Fat Tony: In order to avoid certain legal complications, the trucks are always rolling.
Skinner: Good Lord! Do we really need all those ramps?!
Fat Tony: Who's to say? Does a peacock need all those feathers?
Skinner: Look, you're getting a little philosophical for me.
Fat Tony: I suppose so. They say it happens in the autumn years.
Skinner: Well, be that as it may--
Fat Tony: Get your hand off my car.
Skinner: This is a proud day. Now when people ask if we're in compliance the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1975, I can say, we are closer than ever before!
Skinner: Well, at least we're prepared for the new millennium! My God, the whole thing's made of breadsticks!
Fat Tony: And paint and shellac. It's all itemized in this bill.
"Two Hundred G's Thank You! Tony :)"
Skinner: $200,000?! Are you mad?!
Fat Tony: I don't get mad; I get stabby.
Moe: We could try selling liquor; I'm doing great!
Skinner: Please, sir! Put some shoes on!
Moe: What, you don't like my bags?
"The Nice Man Giveth".
Ralph: Hello, I'm Dr. Stupid. I'm going to take out your liver bones. Oops, you're dead.
Burns: I never liked that Dr. Stupid.
Jim Hope: That's right, Kent. You know, when public schools drop the ball, it's up to the private sector to fall on that fumble and run for the end zone.
Brockman: Will you be replacing the current teachers and administrators?
Jim Hope: Very much so, Kent, but they've already received and extremely generous severance package.
Skinner: Valencia? These are juice oranges!
Milhouse: My Busy Box! It's got everything! Vroom! Vroom, vroom! I'm calling Daddy!
Jim Hope: Good for you, not being bound by the recommended age.
Milhouse: What are you talking about? Oh, jeez!
Milhouse: Its eyes should be telescopes! No, periscopes! No, microscopes! Can you come back to me?
Ralph: Fun toys are fun!
Teacher: Well-said, Ralph, but we're trying to come up with a name for a toy.
Janey: Mrs. Fun?
Teacher: Not bad.
Teacher: Ralph, there are no right or wrong answers, but if you don't pipe down, I'm giving you an F.
Ralph: The before-teacher yelled at me, too.
Teacher: No one's yelling; we're just brainstorming names. Lisa, any ideas?
Lisa: Oh, a name with fun? Fungus, Funzo, Attila the Fun.
Teacher: Lisa, are you doing math?!
Lisa: Uh, just a few Venn diagrams.
Ralph: There's more under her chair!
Bart: Lisa's in trouble. Ha! The ironing is delicious.
Homer: Ugh. Is this gonna be like one of those horror movies where we open the door and everything's normal and we think you're crazy, but then there really *is* a killer robot and the next morning you find me impaled on a weather vane? Is that what this is, Lisa?!
Marge: To be fair, not all evil robots are killers.
Krusty: And Patrick Ewing as the genie. So, have a merry Christmas, happy Chanukah, kwazy Kwanza, a tip-top Tet, and a solemn, dignified Ramadan. Now a word from my god: our sponsor.
Lisa: Bart, they lied to us! Instead of giving us an education, they tricked us into designing a toy! Aren't you outraged?
Bart: No, but if you're gonna throw a spaz', I'll come with.
Lindsay: I'm sorry, Gary. There's no longer a place for you here.
Coleman: Whatchu talkin' about, Miss Naegle?
Lindsay: That is so adorable! You're rehired.
Coleman: Sucker! I knew exactly what she was talkin' about.
Homer: So, who am I beating up?
Lisa: Nobody. You're just gonna break into everyone's house and steal their favorite toy.
Bart: Thus saving Christmas.
Homer: Now, let's see ... this'll make three Christmases I saved versus eight I ruined ... two were kind of a draw...
Coleman: Well, what do we have here? Looks like the biggest rip-off since "Webster".
</b>Coleman: Whatchu talkin' about, Moe? Whatchu talkin' 'bout, everyone?</b>